dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
