do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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