This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
