so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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