I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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