plz talk dirty to me
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just gift wrapped bread.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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