I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
