I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
