dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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