he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
