Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I had to cum in my sink.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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