New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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