Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize