I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
