I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
