but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize