Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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