I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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