bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
