I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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