you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
