Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
