i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
