yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
