but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
