she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
