Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
