I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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