Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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