Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
