remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize