C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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