so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
