i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
