Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize