First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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