shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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