I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
