For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
