Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
