Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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