Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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