I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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