Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
