hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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