I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
