I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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