I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
