He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
