Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
