hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
wow bdsm is so cute
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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