It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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