Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
