My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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