It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
As shirtless as possible
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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