8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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