you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize