oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Randomize
