problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
