I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
