Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
