i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
