so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
