Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
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