so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
