I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
