oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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