He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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