But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
