yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
