i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
