wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
