I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You need Xanax blowdarts
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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