if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
i need some magic done to my vagina
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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