writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
