am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i've created a new STD.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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