Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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