So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
We smell like vodka and hangover
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
