do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
