i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
