how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
