just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
