Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize