so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
