So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
