Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
